No ?
please don't hide frustration behind polite-sounding phrases
Imagine reading a message that sounds polite on the surface but is clearly dripping with barely contained irritation... 🤦♀️
❌ Don't do this
Thomas Middleditch thought he was being professional: I already answered this, let me reference my previous message. But phrases like "as per my last message" are universally read as passive-aggressive, even if that wasn't the intention.
Most people who do this don't think they're being rude. It feels like a polite redirect: "I'm just pointing them to what I already said."
But in text, tone is easily lost and these phrases carry a sharp subtext: you should have read what I wrote. They create tension, defensiveness, and make people dread asking follow-up questions.
The same goes for:
- As I already mentioned...
- Per my previous email...
- Just a gentle reminder (that's not gentle at all)
- Not sure if you saw my last message...
- Circling back on this (for the third time)
Say what you mean, kindly!
✅ Instead, try this
Repeating the answer without the sarcastic wrapper takes the same effort — and it keeps the conversation friendly instead of adversarial.
Instead of passive-aggressive callbacks, try:
- Just re-state the answer briefly and move on
- Add new info: "still Friday, I'll ping when it's live"
- If it's truly urgent, link the original message directly
- If you're frustrated, take a breath before typing
Direct beats diplomatic-but-mean. People remember how your messages made them feel. A curt "as I said" lingers far longer than a friendly re-confirmation.
When done right, everyone stays on the same team. 🎉