No ?

please don't ask for a summary instead of reading the message

Imagine spending ten minutes writing a clear, structured message, and someone replies with "tldr?"... πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ

❌ Don't do this

T.J Miller chat avatar
T.J Miller 10:00 AM
here's the plan: I'll migrate the DB on Thursday, you handle rollback scripts, QA signs off Friday morning, and we deploy at 2 PM. If anything breaks, I'll roll back and we retry Monday.
Thomas Middleditch chat avatar
Thomas Middleditch 10:25 AM
tldr?
T.J Miller chat avatar
T.J Miller 10:26 AM
...it's 3 lines
Thomas Middleditch chat avatar
Thomas Middleditch 10:45 AM
just give me the short version

Thomas Middleditch thought he was being efficient: I don't have time for this, give me the gist. But asking "tldr?" to a short, well-structured message tells the other person their effort was wasted.

Most people who do this don't mean to be dismissive. It's a reflex: "I'm busy, I'll just ask for the summary."

But in work chat, asking for a TLDR on something that's already concise is disrespectful. It signals "I didn't bother reading" and forces the sender to do extra work summarizing something that was already summarized.

The same goes for:

  • tldr? on a 3-sentence message
  • "can you just give me bullet points?" (it already is bullet points)
  • "too long, didn't read" as an actual response
  • Asking someone to re-explain what they already wrote clearly
  • Skipping the message and asking the same question it answers

Just read it!

βœ… Instead, try this

T.J Miller chat avatar
T.J Miller 10:00 AM
here's the plan: I'll migrate the DB on Thursday, you handle rollback scripts, QA signs off Friday morning, and we deploy at 2 PM. If anything breaks, I'll roll back and we retry Monday.
Thomas Middleditch chat avatar
Thomas Middleditch 10:02 AM
got it. I'll have the rollback scripts ready Thursday EOD. Friday 2 PM works
T.J Miller chat avatar
T.J Miller 10:03 AM
perfect, let's sync briefly before the deploy
Thomas Middleditch chat avatar
Thomas Middleditch 10:04 AM
sounds good, I'll block 1:30 PM on the calendar

Reading a well-written message and responding to its content is the bare minimum of communication β€” and it takes less time than writing "tldr?" and waiting for a response.

Instead of asking for a summary, try:

  • Actually read the message β€” it's probably shorter than you think
  • Reply to specific points to show you engaged
  • If it's genuinely too long, ask about a specific part you need
  • If you're truly swamped, say "I'll read this in detail after my meeting"

Reading is participating. When someone writes context, they're saving you a meeting. The least you can do is read it.

When done right, written communication actually works. πŸŽ‰